Recommended Resources

For the first two weeks

Right now you don't need a course. You need to get through the nights without making it worse. These are free and on this site.

• No-contact tracker

  Count the days and protect the streak.

• Should I text my ex?

  Five steps for the moment you're about to send.

• The no-contact rule

  What counts, how long, and the real exceptions.

For understanding your pattern

Once the first wave passes, the useful question is why the relationship went the way it did. These two books are where most readers start.

• Book

  Attached — Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

  For anyone who wants the attachment basics in one read.

  The book that brought adult attachment to a general audience. Clear on the anxious and avoidant patterns, and especially good on why they so often end up together.

• Book

  Anxiously Attached — Jessica Baum

  For the man whose scores came out anxious, or anxious-leaning.

  A closer look at the anxious pattern: the checking, the need for reassurance, and practical ways to feel steadier on your own.

Not sure of your pattern? Take the quiz

Programmes that go deeper

Structured courses, for when a book isn't enough and you want a plan to follow.

• Course

  Personal Development School — Thais Gibson

  For understanding and shifting your attachment pattern over time.

  A library of attachment-focused courses built around changing the pattern, not just naming it.

• Programme

  Ex Recovery Program — Chris Seiter

  For the man who has decided to try to reconcile.

  A structured programme about whether and how to approach reconciling. It's about one specific goal, and it isn't the right fit if you want to move on.